Wars and rumors of wars

A few days ago the boys and I went to the free museum day at the Aerospace Museum in Balboa Park. Airplanes are probably Joseph's favorite thing right now, and Caleb was also very excited by all the planes everywhere. It was a nice visit, starting with me getting the very best parking space there.

The displays are chronological, so towards the end there are lots of WWII planes and displays about the war. At one display you can go inside a little booth that looks like the inside of an airplane, sit down, and enjoy a vintage movie clip about the campaign in the Pacific. I think the film was to promote war bonds or something. Joseph was completely absorbed by the film, literally not taking his eyes off it until it ended. I tried getting him to move on a few times, but he was transfixed. It was not an especially graphic film, in that you did not see anyone die, or any mangled bodies or people getting shot, but there were plenty of explosions and planes dropping bombs, and kamikaze planes crashing into boats with soldiers on deck running frantically for cover. It was actually getting to me a little, especially thinking about McNamara talking about the astonishingly long list of Japanese cities bombed so completely that over 50% of the civilian populations were killed. Thinking about the young men who had to do those things - drop bombs on civilian neighborhood after civilian neighborhood. But then, of course, you don't have to know much about the rape of Nanking to be profoundly grateful that somehow those people didn't make it to us, and grateful that all those ex-soldiers are carrying around those memories so we don't have to carry around others. We weren't alone watching the video, and several of the men looked as if they might have been veterans of the war, and I was wondering what they were thinking about watching this film. It was making me sad thinking about it all, and I wanted to move on.

Joseph suddenly started asking questions in a very loud voice. "Why is that building on fire? Why are those men so scared? What are they doing? Why are they doing that? Why is that exploding?" He sounded a little freaked out, and I thought maybe we should have left sooner, but still he wouldn't budge.

Finally, finally the film ended and we talked a little. He started playing that he was a fighter plane and was shooting things. On the way home he kept talking about "the planes coming to save the city!" I think he was a little confused by who were the "good guys" in the kamikaze shots. He was a little confused and overwhelmed by everything, actually. When we got home he continued playing like he was a fighter plane and asking questions, like why the soldiers were on a boat. I got out a map and explained where our country is, and where Japan is, and how a long time ago the Japanese were doing very wicked things and our soldiers needed to stop them, so they were on boats to go fight them. But now the Japanese did not do wicked things anymore. He seemed interested and sort of placated.

A few hours later we were sitting at the table eating a snack together, and he seemed a little sad. "How are you doing, Joseph?"
"I don't feel very good inside."
"Why?"
"I don't know why those people would do such wicked things."
"I understand. It makes me feel very sad, too."
"Why were those soldiers so scared?"
"Because they didn't want to die. When there is a war, many people die. It is sad and can be scary."
"Oh.... I just can't think why they would do wicked things." He screws his face up into an exaggerated look of deep thought. Suddenly he lights up. "I know! To make those men scared!"
I don't fully follow his logic but sort of nod.
He continues, "The people were in their homes though. They didn't die. And people don't do wicked things anymore."
Ahh, this is mostly what is worrying him. "Well, there are still some people who want to do wicked things even today. Some people called terrorists want to do bad things. But did you know that our country has many soldiers now that fight to keep us safe from terrorists? So we can be safe in our homes."
"We do?! Hey, Heavenly Father sends the soldiers so we are safe!"
"Well, I know that many soldiers feel that they are doing what Heavenly Father wants them to be doing."
"Why are those soldiers so scared?" he asks again.
"It can be scary to be a soldier. Some soldiers die. You have to be very brave to be a soldier."
"They are very brave."
"Yes."
"Did you know that the soldiers are killing all the wicked people?"
"They are trying their best to keep us safe."

He's stopped obsessing about being a fighter plane, and hasn't brought it up again until this morning he told me again that the soldiers are killing all the wicked people. War is so sad, and it was difficult to see my little boy trying to understand something not understandable. I am personally pretty mortified by many of our country's military actions, and skeptical of much of the war on terror, but talking to him I felt genuine gratitude for all those people who are doing the best they can to keep him safe.